What Would Shakespeare (or any other famous author) Drive?

"Tom McParland" (tommcparland) 04/04/2014 at 09:26 • Filed to: booklopnik, discussion, articles

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As both a car-nut and former Literature major that spends way too much time thinking about silly things, I often wondered what vehicles would best fit some famous authors. Would Shakespeare's pension for Italian tragedies have him pilot a Ferrari? Would Dickens' rock-star status in Victorian England mean he would be chauffeured in a Rolls Royce because driving is for the plebes?

I'll start with all-american baddass author Ernest Hemingway. My initial pick for him was the Jeep Wrangler. It is rugged, iconic, and fits with Hemingway's sense of adventure. But then I remembered this quote:

"There are only three sports: bullfighting, motor racing, and mountaineering; all the rest are merely games."

So what vehicle would exemplify all 3?...I got it, the Rally Fighter!

!!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! I can picture Ernest trying to tackle Baja in this thing. Hell, he might even Orlove it, but at least Ernest would tell us !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!!

Now it is your turn, pick an author, pick a car and make your case.

!!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! is a professional car buying consultant, lover of all things automotive and a bit wagon obsessed. You can find more ramblings and plenty of carporn !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!!

Nibby > Tom McParland 04/04/2014 at 09:27

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Dr . Seuss would drive something quirky like the Nissan Cube.

Tom McParland > Nibby 04/04/2014 at 09:29

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I would like to drive that little box, I would like to drive it with a fox.

I will take it to the store, I will drive it more and more!

505Turbeaux > Nibby 04/04/2014 at 09:31

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he used to summer in my hometown, I used to see him around and if I remember correctly it was a big Buick

Fred (FreddsterExprs) > Tom McParland 04/04/2014 at 09:32

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Fitzgerald captured the roaring 20s like no other author, and like the 20s, he went downhill from 1929, and the alcohol killed him in the end.

So I would vote for either an old Duesenberg or, if we are talking about something modern, the Rolls Royce Hyperion.

Leadbull > Tom McParland 04/04/2014 at 09:33

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Mark Twain would drive a CTS.

Eccentric, yet still upstanding.

Jonathon Klein > Tom McParland 04/04/2014 at 09:37

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Orwell would drive a 2CV something that doesn't have anything to do with oppressing the proletariat.

Tom McParland > Jonathon Klein 04/04/2014 at 09:39

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Orwell would take the bus...or Orwell would drive the bus.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Tom McParland 04/04/2014 at 09:39

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Shakespeare would drive this:

Because he was a celeb and British as fuck, yo. At the same time he was a classics nut, so an original E-Type Jaaaaaaaaaag.

Mark Twain would drive this:

A supercharged 1970 Challenger R/T 440 in all white, and Kowalski was a Twain like American hero.

Bad Idea Hat > Fred (FreddsterExprs) 04/04/2014 at 09:40

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edit - I was going to complain about the new format, but damn if you didn't hit this one out of the park.

Bad Idea Hat > Tom McParland 04/04/2014 at 09:41

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Joseph Heller would drive a Lemons Racing car, for many very good reasons.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Bad Idea Hat 04/04/2014 at 09:48

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Helen Keller meanwhile...

Remember dialing "popcorn" for the time? > Tom McParland 04/04/2014 at 10:04

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I will drive it more tomorrow

I will drive it with DeMuro

(Sorry ... best I could do)

Jonathon Klein > Tom McParland 04/04/2014 at 10:05

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That makes more sense, he would drive a bus to the bourgeoisie homes so people can overthrow their oppressors!

RacecaR > Tom McParland 04/04/2014 at 10:23

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Tolkien, would drive something like this. He was not a big fan of industry, so I think he would turn his back on mass produced, big, loud cars. Plus he seemed to have a good sense of humor and wit, so this really seems fitting.

davedave1111 > Nibby 04/04/2014 at 10:33

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Wouldn't he drive a Dacia Green EggSandero?

RacecaR > Tom McParland 04/04/2014 at 10:33

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thought some more. Camus would drive a Citroen DS because he was French, and didn't give a fuck.

Mark - Sixpots None The Richer > Tom McParland 04/04/2014 at 10:36

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Franz Kafka would probably own a (used?) Skoda 105 S. He wasn't a succesful writer in his lifetime and although he wasn't exactly poor I cannot believe that he was really into cars. He'd have chosen the Skoda because it was build by socialists and is slightly eccentric without being in the least pompous. I don't think it would be important for him that the car was made in his home country, but he would have had a lot of oppurtunities to pick one up.

Bad Idea Hat > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 04/04/2014 at 11:08

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Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Bad Idea Hat 04/04/2014 at 11:10

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I was going to say Juke, but even she could see that shit.

Mark - Sixpots None The Richer > Tom McParland 04/04/2014 at 11:11

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Goethe. He had the money, and he was a romantic man of taste who loved Italy and travelling.

Of course he'd drive a Maserati 3500 GT

ifrm16 > Tom McParland 04/04/2014 at 15:43

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Charles Bukowski gave Zero Fucks!